I cancelled my subscription to Real Simple today.
This magazine has practically been my domestic lifeblood since I started receiving it a couple of years ago. All of the recipes and the product reviews and the lists of things to have in your pantry, closet, bathroom, and car trunk. Indispensable information.
But last week I realized something. I am no longer the targeted RS reader. I don't have an iPhone. I don't buy tea in decorative tins. I don't splurge on a $1200 handbag. I don't send Christmas cards (much less the $42 for a box of six kind). I don't tip my mail carrier $50 on National Post Office Day. I don't buy organic produce. I don't care about mixing modern furniture with beautiful antiques. I'm not an account executive or pottery thrower. I don't host spring tea parties for my girlfriends. I don't consider Crate&Barrel my "bargain" store. And I don't vacation in Botswana. For real. That's where RS told me to go on vacation.
I wear t-shirts. I watch college basketball on a non-plasma TV. I buy wine that costs less than ten dollars, and I keep it way longer than I should. I don't have texting on my cell phone. I sleep in non-matching pajamas. I haven't purchased a swimsuit in three years. I buy groceries at Walmart. I don't wear heels or wedges or espadrilles. I still use Lysol and Clorox to clean my house. I don't own a sundress. I don't give hostess gifts. I have taken one for-real vacation since my honeymoon, and I've been married five and a half years.
I just don't think I fit the mold anymore. In some ways, I like that. I'm unique and will no longer be influenced when RS tells me to spray my hair with color serum to preserve shine and vibrance. But then again, no longer being relevant feels like I'm the ugly step-sister. I'm invited to family functions, but no one will talk to me or compliment me on my outfit.
This is the end of an era. Like when Joey and Chandler didn't live together anymore. Sad but necessary. So goodbye, Real Simple. Thanks for trying to improve my life with $75 umbrellas and a life coach who taught me to prioritize my dreams. I'll miss you.
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4 comments:
Heres whats funny, Im watching the show where Joey moves out (watching Season 2 of Friends). Not to be a Friends snob, but its gonna come out like that no matter what, When Rachel and Monica dont live together anymore is when they said end of an era. Yeah Im a snob...
No, but in season six, Joey and Chandler say it, too! Don't they? When they move out? I think? Oh well. Maybe not. And you can totally be a Friends snob. I'm a LOST and Office and 24 and Arrested Development snob, so I get it.
Oh actually you might be right. I will have to watch Season 6 soon to know for myself! Ha.
Great post~ Glad to meet another 'real' person!!!
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